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Don't Listen to My Face

by Jessica Ripka

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1.
Paint Me a Picture (free) 03:39
You laid the colors down and you left them out And I tried to paint something that would make you proud But I ran those colors through with your very blood And I drove my bristles through the heart of your love Your love, oh, your love… So I closed my eyes and I held my breath I just tried to deny all of my regrets Oh, but no I can’t escape the weight of my hands I say, change, try to change – but I know that I can’t, I can’t I can’t, I can’t But I Try and I try and I try To make it right again Try and I try and I try To make it right again Try and I try and I try – to make it right again Try and I try and I try – to make it right again God knows how I try Oh, God knows how I try Try and I try and I try Try and I try…. You laid the colors down and you left them out And maybe my failed attempts can still make you proud
2.
Alls I Know (free) 04:02
They say that beautiful women wear their hair down They get their nails done at some fancy place in town But I always bite my nails and spit ‘em on the ground So I don’t know much about these things They say that when you fall in love the planets align They bring you flowers and put stars in your eyes But I always grow my own flowers outside So I don’t know much about these things No, I don’t know much about these things (chorus) What I do know and see Is life doesn’t look like a magazine All I ever would ever want to do Is know about what’s really true And I’d rather be knowing it with you They say you need a cushy job to be complete Rise to the top, don’t ever stop – increase your fees But I always love a man who’s unafraid to clean a toilet seat They say you need a bigger house, a bigger yard Impress your friends with all your china and classy cars But all my closest friends are friends who value laughing hard So I don’t know much about these things No, I don’t know much about these things (repeat chorus) Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh…..
3.
Grow (free) 03:15
I built my heart tall as trees Hung my words on their leaves Waved my branches – said, “Look at me!” And when all the words turned brown I just painted them green (chorus) Never really liked that things die Before they grow It took all my tape and some glue To make my words hold up the way they’re supposed to But, oh, those autumn winds They blew right through And left me nothing but my nakedness and empty truth (chorus) Never really wanted to die To let myself grow (chorus) To grow, to grow To grow, to grow… And after autumn, comes cold Before the bloom of spring must come the driving snow And if I’m brave enough to just let go Of all these seeds that I’ve been too afraid to finally sow I’ll put ‘em in the ground, let ‘em die Put ‘em in the ground, let ‘em die Put ‘em in the ground, let ‘em die die die die die… And let ‘em grow
4.
Take my picture Take my number Forget, forget Forget my name Nice to meet you Hope to see you Again, and again And again someday But you forgot, forgot You forgot my name You forgot it Forgot it You forgot it You forgot it And never wanted it Anyway.
5.
Testify (free) 05:13
I keep my secrets sleeping soundly In crystal jelly jars In the walls of my heart I seal them with a stoic smile, My teeth strung neatly across All the limbs I’ve lost (chorus) But it’s getting harder to hold my tongue And keep my words in line Before I testify – testify To the syrums tasted, words I’ve wasted Quoting nursery rhymes As my paradigm So change my paradigm (chorus) Cuz it’s getting harder to hold my tongue And keep my words in line Testify - Testify - Testify And if you ask me, I won’t tell you How I really feel Cuz I made a deal To keep my lips sealed (chorus) Oh – But it’s getting harder to hold my tongue And keep my words in line Oh, it’s getting harder to hold my tongue And keep my words in line Before I testify – testify – testify - testify Oh Oh Oh Ohh….
6.
Spare Me (free) 05:19
I – I don’t love you I don’t want to Make you cry But I – I can’t fake it I won’t make it If I try (chorus) So spare me the details on why you’re so blue Cuz I am sparing you Spare me the details on why you’re so blue Cuz I am sparing you Trouble – So much trouble All the trouble We’d invite On hearts That are bloody They’re so bloody Especially when they lie (repeat chorus) A lifetime A long, long lifetime A long lonely lifetime That really should be Spent with – spent with someone Someone other – Other than me So spare me the details on why you’re so blue…. So spare me the details on why you’re so blue… Spare me the details on why you’re so blue – I am sparing you Spare me the details and find someone new – cuz I am sparing you Oh oh oh Oh, oh, oh.. Oh, Oh, oh (repeat 1x)
7.
3 Blind Mice (free) 05:31
Three blind mice Warned me twice About the likes Of people who follow their dreams They said they die The most horrible ways to die Like losing both your eyes From dreaming your dreams all night (How d’you lose both your eyes with your eyes closed? They never answered me that) Instead they said Do take care Always be aware And never ever dare To believe you can be happy or lovely or talented or important or free Especially free Instead they said just wear grey Every single day And be our slave And, by the way, find a job to pay For all the bills we accumulate How do mice accumulate bills to pay they never say I’ve asked at least a dozen times today (chorus) So. I never dared to leave their lair Unaware of the songs I wanted to sing so badly Because they said Don’t. Write. Songs. Especially songs that are long. Or songs that go on and on…. About mice or things that are fuzzy. They said, “Dear, you know it’s true People just wouldn’t like you They’d laugh and they’d scoff and they’d boo Yeah, they’d scream the moment they saw you – they would! They’d scream the moment they saw you.” And for years I believed They lies that they would feed me Thinking they were keeping me safe And out of harms way I wanna be safe and out of harms way (chorus) So. I never dared to leave their lair Unaware of the songs I wanted to sing so badly No I never dared to leave their lair Unaware of the songs I wanted to sing so badly Until I found In a swanky restaurant downtown As a mouse ran through the crowd And they – screamed and screamed and ran across the floor Screamed and screamed and threw him out the door But screamed and screamed, “Please sing your song once more.” Really? So… I ran away From the mice that day And I placed their cage In the flames of a dumpster downtown Yeah, I ran away And I never became As grey and as lame as they told me I had to be So I a word to the wise If you know of these mice Don’t believe their lies! Cuz they’ll scream and scream and run across your floor Scream and scream – but throw ‘em out the door Dream your dreams and sing this song once more Remembering that they’re just Three blind mice.
8.
Thick Skinned (free) 03:59
Y’know, it’s really no surprise to find me here at your front door You never let me in to let me love you But I promised and I swore That I would wait I would wait Yeah, I would wait For more – outside your door One bright and sunny day I took a chance And walked the grounds I noticed all your curtains drawn, your doors locked shut So safe – so safe and sound So still I wait Still I wait Yeah, still I wait for more – Outside your door Badada…badadada... Well the winter was quite hard, I will admit, but don’t you fret I could’ve faced a thousand days of cold and ice and hate And never left So still I wait, darlin’ Still I wait Yeah, still I wait for more Outside your door Badada…badadada…. Well I’m beginning to believe that maybe this was a mistake That maybe all the time I’ve waited here has been for one One big fat waste So I won’t wait, darlin’ - No, I won’t wait No, I won’t wait – no more, no, no no more – No, no, no more Outside your door Badada…badadada….
9.
For Julie (free) 04:46
I never wanted to feel this – I’ve been afraid for so, so long But you drew me out with your finger tips You came around and you held on I never wanted to say this – loud enough for us to hear But your voice is calling me softly Lifting the weight of my fears (chorus) I’ve believed a lifelong lie That my own arms can hold me But I think I can finally say I am strong enough, strong enough, strong enough To be weak I never wanted to leave this – this lonely island I call home But offer safety in numbers That I never knew from being alone I never wanted to break this – this jaded heart made of stone But you held me over your fire Melting the pride from my bones (chorus) I’ve believed a lifelong lie That my own arms can hold me I think I can finally say I am strong enough, strong enough, strong enough To be weak (interlude) I’ve believed a lifelong lie That my own arms can hold me…. I’ve believed a lifelong lie that my own arms can hold me I think I can finally say I am strong enough, strong enough, strong enough Oh, I am strong enough, strong enough, strong enough To be weak
10.
Cafe (free) 02:48
We have the same colored eyes And the same curly hair People mistake us all the time Even though I’m never there We read the same books by the nightstand I hear we’d make the best of friends Were it not for the fact We love the same man We both like salads but not with celery Does he make a separate plate for you too? Don’t you love those long walks on Saturdays Clinging close to him like I used to Maybe we would meet down by the café Ordering pastries for his commute I don’t do that now Because you do I don’t love him now At least I know I shouldn’t love him now Sorry we can’t be friends now Because he loves you
11.
Meant to Be (free) 06:35
I lost track of the day When fate pulled up and brought me this way I’d been searching for gold but I found these stars Never would’ve known what a wonder they are And I suppose that I should know where my life is going by now But when it’s up to me I never see the beauty of the here And the now (chorus) Cuz sometimes my life - Gets in the way of my living Sometimes one breath - Is all I can do for planning Some places I’ve been - Ain’t where I was going, oh no But all the while - it’s how - it was meant to be I laid out my list of goals Packed my bags of fine fancy clothes Well, I lost it all at some cross-roads Some – some mysteries – only heaven knows And if I said that I was mad, well, I just wouldn’t be being true Cuz the life we live is never lived only if we’re doing what we planned to do (chorus) (repeat chorus – quiet until “…one breath…”) I lost track…of the day……

credits

released April 7, 2010

Performed and recorded by Jessica Ripka in Detroit First Church of the Nazarene and assorted practice rooms of Ohio University and the University of Michigan - Winter 2010. Strings graciously provided by Ian Tobasco (Violin) and Eric Moore (Cello).

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Jessica Ripka Los Angeles, California

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